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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?